Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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