i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
