my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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