I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
