She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
