took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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