Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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