you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
