Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
