I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
