I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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