I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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