I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
