Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How's work?
Spinning.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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