I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
