If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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