So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
