how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
