i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
