I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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