Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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