Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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