She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
