Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
