Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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