What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
