Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
