Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
