did you get engaged???
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
