Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
