just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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