hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
