lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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