bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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