Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
