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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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