I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
