Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
