she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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