He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
