dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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