well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and she was petting her beer can
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
