Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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