I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
