smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
