he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
