There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
