I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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