we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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