I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
